11 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist — and How to Get Out

SixFruits Editor

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental illness that implies a lack of empathy, an inflated sense of its importance, and problems in relationships.

Obviously, as in any mental disorder, not all narcissists are the same, but instead, they operate within a spectrum.

These are the 9 official criteria to determine that a person has NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder).

  • Sense of entitlement.
  • Exaggerated sense of its importance.
  • Lack of empathy.
  • Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, beauty or ideal love.
  • Arrogant attitudes.
  • Belief of being superior and unique.
  • Envy of others or belief that others envy you.
  • Need for excessive admiration.
  • Interpersonally exploitative behavior.

Although their characteristics are described, it is not always easy to tell if a person is narcissistic, especially when dating that person.

Keep in mind that a health professional can only make the diagnosis.

1. They Were Very Charming At First

It all starts like a fairy tale where the other person falls in love with your different aspects.

However, the first time you have an attitude that disappoints them, they can turn against you.

Keep in mind that the reason for the disappointment may not be apparent to you as it stems from the narcissist’s own beliefs.

2. They Hog the Conversation, Talking About How Great They Are

Narcissists love to talk about how great they are. They do this because it helps them feel more intelligent than everyone else while creating a semblance of self-confidence.

Narcissists are also always very busy talking about themselves, which is why they ignore you.

3. They Feed Off Your Compliments

While they seem to have a lot of confidence, narcissists have low self-esteem.

Thus, they tend to compliment other people (generally empathic) on telling them how good they are. This helps them feed their ego.

4. They Lack Empathy

Lack of empathy is one of the main characteristics of narcissists.

This lack of ability to empathize is often the cause of separation in most couples with a narcissist.

5. They Don’t Have Any (or Many) Long-Term Friends

Most narcissists do not have long-term friendships.

As a result of that, they may get angry if you want to spend time with your friends, arguing that you don’t want to spend time with them and making you feel guilty for hanging out with your friends.

6. They Pick on You Constantly

It may start as a joke and then become consistent.

Suddenly, everything you do or say upsets them.

They can do or tell you anything to knock you down. They do this because it shows that they have the power to affect the emotions of others.

7. They Gaslight You

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation typical of narcissism.

Some signs that you are experiencing gaslighting are:

  • You feel more anxious and less sure of yourself.
  • You feel that everything you do is wrong.
  • You wonder if you are too sensitive.
  • You constantly apologize.
  • You always think it’s your fault when things don’t work out.
  • You apologize for your partner’s behavior.

8. They Dance Around Defining the Relationship

While there are many reasons why a person does not want to label a relationship, you may be dating a narcissist if you also recognize the above symptoms in your partner.

In fact, you may notice your partner flirting with other people in front of you. If you talk to your partner about your disagreement, he can accuse you of making a scandal.  

9. They Think They’re Right About Everything And Never Apologize

You cannot argue with a narcissist because they are always right.

You may be dating a narcissist if, in a discussion, he does not listen to you, does not understand you, and does not take responsibility for the matter.

10. They Panic When You Try to Break Up With Them

Narcissists try hard to keep you in their lives.

They can make you believe that they have changed, but that is not so.

They will want to keep you until they find someone else to date.

11. When You Show Them You’re Done, They Lash Out

If you insist on ending the relationship, their goal will be to hurt you for leaving them.

According to specialists, a good reputation is essential for them, and they cannot allow anyone to interfere with that.

OK, So You’re Dating a Narcissist… Now What?

If you feel like you are dating a narcissist, for your own sake should break up.

You can take steps to break up with a narcissist: go to therapy, remind yourself that you deserve better, and build a support network with friends and family.

Keep in mind that you cannot change a person with NPD. That is why it is better to walk away.

Remember that this article is not intended to diagnose your partner. It only seeks to advise to have a healthy relationship.

If your partner has these symptoms, whether he is a narcissist or not, it means that you are in a relationship that is not healthy.